Friday, May 22, 2009

Place in This World

The wind is moving
But I am standing still
A life of pages
Waiting to be filled
A heart that's hopeful
A head that's full of dreams
But this becoming
Is harder than it seems
Feels like, I'm

Looking for a reason,
Roaming through the night to find my
Place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

If there are millions
Down on their knees
Among the many
Can you still hear me?
Hear me asking
where do I belong?
Is there a vision
That I can call my own?
Show me, I'm

Looking for a reason
Roaming through the night to find my
Place in this world
My place in this world
Not a lot to lean on
I need Your light to help me find
My place in this world
My place in this world

Michael W. Smith, 1990

This pretty much sums up what I feel this second. Lost. Lonely. Pointless. It is so frustrating that one minute you can be on top of the world, and yet, the next you are swimming with the fish. I think I come up with something that is so 'me', and then people are like 'no, you are so smart, you can do better than that'. But all I want to do is get married, be a mum and serve God. Isn't that a good job? Why does everyone think I should be a teacher? I may be smart, and I might make a good teacher, but I don't want to! How many times do I have to say no? Christian leaders that I respect and love seem not to care that I don't want money, a career or anything like that - I want to love and cherish others and be remembered as someone who went out of her way to do that, not as a too-busy, educationally minded woman. Why don't they see that that is my heart? Is that too much to expect? Why can't they let me live my dream and support me in that?

8 Thoughts from YOU!:

Rebekah May 23, 2009 at 1:04 AM  

I now how you feel! I've been told "But you need to go to college, you'll never get a good job if you don't!" *sigh* why don't they understand? Being a Mother is an great job

Anna Naomi May 23, 2009 at 1:43 AM  

I feel your pain, and know your wonderings. They have been mine so many times. So many people think that, just because we can, we should aim to be so much, so high and influential. Yet, they forget that being influential doesn't always mean earning tons of money or being highly visible. Sometimes it's in the smallest things, like being joyful in your sphere and reaching out to those around you. Not that you should avoid the world - there are hurting people everywhere - but you must be wise about where God has called you. Stay close to Him, seek His face, do what He calls you to do, and remember that His praise is all that really matters. I don't have this all figured out yet, but in everything, God has been and will continue to be so faithful!

Anonymous,  May 23, 2009 at 7:32 AM  

Oh, I'm sorry that you are feeling that way. :( *hugs*

Libby May 24, 2009 at 4:15 PM  

hey
i know how you feel, sometimes i feel the same way...
people will say "but you should be this" or "you shoudl be great at THAT" but, i actually want to be a teacher, so i dont know how you feel completely -- but if u like, i can pray for you :)

justagirl4god May 25, 2009 at 9:24 AM  

Hey Libby,

thanks for your comments... i haven't posted the other one yet, cause I just wanted to talk to you first... no, that's not my current situation, never has been and I don't think it ever will be! Thanks for your concern though...
If you want to email you can do so at:
justagirl4god [at] hotmail [dot] com...

xo

justagirl4god

Elijah June 15, 2009 at 12:11 PM  

"But all I want to do is get married, be a mum and serve God. Isn't that a good job? Why does everyone think I should be a teacher? I may be smart, and I might make a good teacher, but I don't want to! How many times do I have to say no? Christian leaders that I respect and love seem not to care that I don't want money, a career or anything like that - I want to love and cherish others and be remembered as someone who went out of her way to do that, not as a too-busy, educationally minded woman. Why don't they see that that is my heart? Is that too much to expect? Why can't they let me live my dream and support me in that?"


You need to talk to Marlana!!! :) She just left for Thailand for 7 weeks! She finally said no to the pressure to get her master's degree.

Let me no if you want her email address. She'll have Internet access over there! :)

Elijah June 15, 2009 at 12:14 PM  

> "But all I want to do is get married, be a mum and serve God. Isn't that a good job? Why does everyone think I should be a teacher? I may be smart, and I might make a good teacher, but I don't want to! How many times do I have to say no? Christian leaders that I respect and love seem not to care that I don't want money, a career or anything like that - I want to love and cherish others and be remembered as someone who went out of her way to do that, not as a too-busy, educationally minded woman. Why don't they see that that is my heart? Is that too much to expect? Why can't they let me live my dream and support me in that?"

You need to talk to Marlana! She finally said no to the pressure to get her Master's degree! She just left today for Thailand for 7 weeks! She'll have Internet over there. Let me know if you'd like her email address!

Want to join Homeschool alumni? I think you just have to be over 13.

Some quotes from people on there: http://family.elijahlofgren.com/search/label/HSA

http://quotes.elijahlofgren.com/search/label/HSA

Have a great week!

- Elijah

justagirl4god June 15, 2009 at 1:11 PM  

Thanks Elijah!
*deliberating*
Do you think there is any use in joining Homeschool Alumni, seeing as I am an Aussie? *hmmm* thinking I'll do it anyway, just to hear others thoughts...
Just out of interest, how do you know Marlana?
oops... have to go to lunch... will complete this comment later...

justagirl4god

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